[April, April] Samsung zeigt die „Internet of Trousers“

Pah! Internet of Things ist ja so 2015… Samsung kann das besser und hat heute, exklusiv zum 1. April die Internet of Trousers vorgestellt. Clevere Funktionen, wie etwa Wi-Fly, das auf einen offenen Hosenstall hinweist, oder der Get Up! Alert, der einen darauf hinweist, wenn man lange genug auf seinem dicken Hintern gesessen hat. Besonders interessant ist aber wohl der Fridge Lock: der sperrt den Zugang zum Kühlschrank, wenn der Zug auf den Hosenbund zu groß wird.

Key Internet of Trousers functions include:

  • Wi-Fly: Gone are the days of unnoticed, unzipped trouser zippers upon exiting the restroom. Should your fly remain open for more than three minutes, the ZipARTIK module will send a series of notifications to your smartphone to save you from further embarrassment.
  • Get Up! Alert: Using pressure sensors, Samsung’s intelligent trousers detect prolonged periods of inactivity and send notifications to ‘get up off of that thing’ at least once an hour. Should you remain seated for more than three hours, devices embedded in each of the rear pockets send mild electrical shocks to provide extra motivation.
  • Keep-Your-Pants-On Mode: Sometimes it’s easy to get carried away with the moment. The Samsung Bio-Processor in your pants checks your bio-data including your heart rate and perspiration level. If these indicators get too high, Samsung’s trousers will send you subtle notifications as a reminder of the importance of keeping your cool.
  • Fridge Lock: If the tension around your waist gets too high, the embedded ARTIK chip module will send signals to your refrigerator to prevent you from overeating. The fridge door lock can then only be deactivated with consent from a designated person such as your mother or significant other.

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